Torn Muscles

As many of you all know, my mom has been diagnosed with brain cancer. Although this process has been one of the most challenging and difficult times I have had the opportunity [yes, I said opportunity] to experience. It has been an experience that I have been strengthened by. This has, also, provided me with the opportunity to speak about the graciousness and love of God. God never gives us more than we can handle, even if we feel like he does. God is always there to pick us up, dust us off and strengthen us. Throughout this, I have had to remind myself that EVEN STRUGGLES ARE A BLESSING and a part of our stories. (Romans 5:3-5) Without struggles and hardships in our lives we would never be given the opportunity to grow and be strengthened. God is not a stagnant or weak God, so if we are trying to be like Christ, why would we want to be stagnant and weak? Therefore, in order to be strengthened we must first break, just a little.  Metaphorically, we are similar to a muscle that someone is working on strengthening.  As someone lifts heavy weights, the muscle tears just a little, but grows back together even stronger.  After a trial has been endured, we are able to look back and see how much growth and strength we achieved during that hardship.

 

When I found out that my mom had a mass on her brain, I felt as though life had stopped. Life had thrown a curve ball that I wasn't ready for. That curve ball hit me exactly where it hurt...family. When first hearing the news, I was so scared, thinking and fearing the worst. If you know me well, you may know that severe anxiety and worrying is my weakness.  However, while mom was in Columbus, I clung to God's promises and Truth. It was during this time that God provided me with comfort, grace, mercy, an astounding peace and so much more. It's truly amazing how if you are fully sold out to God, how He can provide you with exactly what you need in a single instant.

     After days of waiting, not-so patiently in Columbus, a bed finally became available at UAB and my mom was transferred to Birmingham. Days passed and on July 6, 2016 around 3:00, my mom was taken back to the OR by nurses, so the brain tumor could be removed. Once my mom was taken back to surgery, all of my positivity and peace that I had felt in Columbus had transformed and became an overflow of negative emotions and anxiety.

In the middle of the waiting room was a beautiful outside prayer garden with windows all the way around and no rooftop.  During the first 30 minutes of the surgery, I secluded myself in that garden from my family. I wanted alone time to pray, to listen to music, and just focus. I was worried, nervous, anxious and angry.  Tears were streaming down my face as I cried [not just cried, but ugly cried, like I'm talking terrible facial expressions, snot and tissues....the whole nine yards]. As I cried and my music played through my ear buds, a song came on that instantly stopped every negative emotion and ever worrisome thought wrenching tear that I was crying. "O Praise the Name" by Hillsong was playing. The words "Why are you worried? God's got this!" rung violently inside of my head. I had never before experienced the presence of God, like I had in that moment [such peace, such understanding, such comfort, such ease, such grace, such love, all in a very instant]. Confirmation occurred when a gust of wind blew in garden and a lady that was outside walked up and said "Miss, I promise, it's going to be just fine."

After the surgery, the surgeon came out with his concerns about side-effects from the surgery, which included inability to see, lack of mobility/strength of the right side and an inability to speak/comprehend. When arriving to visit my mom in the ICU, I saw there would be a long road of recovery. However, the doctor's concerns were answered almost immediately.  In broken statements, mom was speaking to the nurses. In broken words and statements, mom was answering questions.  The greatest amount of confirmation regarding the surgeon's concerns occurred when my brother and I grabbed my mom's hands and she squeezed [so tightly it hurt a little] three times. [By the way, anything that is done 3 times in the Akridge house is code for "I Love You".]  

My heart overflowed with joy.

 

I would love to tell you all that mom is perfect and this has been an easy and quick transition/recovery, but that is not nearly the case. As if the side-effects from the surgery are not nearly enough, mom's medications have had serious side-effects, in which she was taken to the ER. Severe drowsiness that has caused an inability to walk, talk or comprehend occurred recently because of medications. Currently, dysphasia and trouble walking and getting around is present.

  

But regardless of those set-backs, side-effects and bad news, JESUS IS STILL ON THE THRONE. Mom is alive and has made much improvement this week. She is talking a bit more, motivated to practice walking, actually eating and drinking more than a couple of bites of food or sips of drink, comprehending questions and is able to keep her eyes open for extended period of time. She is strong and all glory goes to the King of Kings! God is WAY bigger than any cancer. God has blessed our family tremendously. Being able to experience the support and love from so many people has been heart-changing. People are literally being the hands and feet of Jesus, right before our eyes. All of the prayers, cards, gifts and life-giving words are encouraging and abundantly appreciated. Mom has a long road to recovery ahead of her, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that we serve a sweet, sweet Savior, who has and is going to do miraculous things.

 

 Pray for her as she continues to be strengthened and overcomes dysphasia. Pray for comfort and that radiation and chemotherapy will do exactly what is intended to do.



We are selling T-Shirts for $20 dollars to help the cost of Radiation and Chemotherapy.
Here is the link.