Warfare and Wisdom

Hello old friends,

I first want to express a small portion of what's currently going on in my life. As most of you know, my mom was diagnosed with brain cancer last June. [ It has been almost one year....Wow, just wow.] During this time I have seen God do wonderful things. I've seen him restore. I've seen the beginning  stages of healing [I know that the end of His story is life]. I've seen him move and I've felt his presence. God has been evident though it all. God has used friends, family, doctors, acquaintances, church members, the Bible,  pieces of mail, important documents and  more to make his presence known, so that we know He is in control. With so much of God showing up, you can rest assure that Satan wasn't too far behind. Lately, My family and I have experienced so much spiritual warfare. I have clarity to the fact that it is not the circumstance, it is not people, but instead warfare. I understand and recognized  that Satan will use every issue, circumstance, tendency or person that he can. Satan is sly and unfortunately good at his job.  But (with Satan it's such a blessing to know there is always a "but", because God is greater at his job and God is so much stronger and so much more mighty.) I want each of you to know that Satan holds only the power that you allow him to have. Lysa Teurkurst nails it when she says, " Author of FEAR, you have no place in my heart today. Author of CONFUSION, you have no place in my thoughts today. Author of DARKNESS, you have no place in my VERY ALIVE spirit today!" I am standing in faith and believing that God is my PRINCE OF PEACE, my perfect portion of love, comfort, encouragement, clarity, joy, and radiant light!! TODAY, I cling to the Highest of all and allow NOTHING to stand in my way of victory today! Currently,  spiritual warfare, for me, is very much reality. Satan knows how much people mean to me. He knows how important  that my mom, my dad, my brother and Andrew are to me and he knows how to use others against my love for them. As unfortunate as it is, the devil is sly, but [there it is again] God is greater.  We are  meant to live, a life full of love and joy, a life that is bright and powerful! (“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

Today it is my prayer that each of you look at what is currently going on in your lives and that you identify struggles.  First know,  it is just a season. You are in the midst of a storm, but a storm cannot last forever. My mom says, " without rain, there can be no rainbow." Rainbows are a promise. They intuitively tell us to hold onto hope, to believe without doubt that blessings will come. Also know that this storm is molding and shaping you into someone much stronger than ever before. Trust that blessings and goodness are to come, regardless of the time frame. Secondly understand that what is occurring in your life is not because of other people, yourself, your situations, your circumstances,  etc. Instead, realize the true reasoning behind it is that you are experiencing spiritual warfare and attacks from the enemy.  ( “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians‬ ‭6:12‬) He is going to attack, that's his job. But you have the power to rebuke him. God is so much more powerful than Satan could ever even think about being. Finally, after being able to identify your struggles and that all arrows point to Satan be able to receive freedom from whatever is occurring. There is sweet freedom is vocalizing your struggles and being transparent and vulnerable to God. Express yourself to Him and tell him what's going on, he already knows, but he desires a relationship with you we're you come to him with EVERYTHING....the good, the bad and the ugly.

It is my prayer today that you, just as The Lord did, cast Satan out of your life today and everyday. (It's daily. “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23)  I pray that you do not listen to his lies and deceit. That you cling to the truth and that God align your hearts, your minds and spirit to His. It is my prayer that regardless of what people are saying to you, regardless of where you are spiritually, regardless of what your situation or circumstance is that you know that you are loved. That you know that you are loved so vastly, so deeply, so widely and that you were created with purpose! That a purpose was created and then YOU were made ever so specific for that purpose. I pray that you are guided and directed to the perfect purpose God has for you. I pray that any rejection, any harassment, your past, your present, your future, your career, you family, your husband/wife, your friends group, your boyfriend/girlfriend DOES NOT define you. That your identify be found in Christ. The the King of Kings define who you are and what you are here for! That each day you wake up and choose joy and to live loved by Christ. This is my prayers for you.

Tis' the Season for Struggle?

It's been so long since I have last posted, but as 2016 comes to an end I've felt this subject heavy on my heart. This morning I woke up feeling overwhelmed and ridiculed by multiple areas in my life. As I staggered around sleepy and still in a daze, I thought about how I absolutely didn't want to go to work and how my nice warm bed was calling to me..."Brittany, come back"  [Is it bad that I can hear it now?].  As I began to get dressed, thoughts flooded my brain regarding how 2016 was at it's end. As I reminisced,  I was overwhelmed by how difficult 2016 has been and how in the last 7 months, Satan has attacked relentlessly.

In the mornings, I usually love my drives to work because it gives me the perfect amount of time to ponder, pray and praise. [you see what I did there? Those three P's have Purpose.]  As I started to work, I was having trouble with the pray and praise portion, so I stuck with pondering. The words "why did I have to struggle so much" echoed in my head. I, finally, was able to ask it aloud and a thought popped into my head, almost instantly. "Because you're loved" is all I could think.

Instantly, I felt the warm sun on my face through the windshield and my feelings of anger, disappointment, not being good enough, resentment, sadness, hurt and instability from the year diminish.   As the feelings began to diminish, I began to express how I felt about my struggles. I was open and vulnerable to God with every emotion and thought that was going on inside me. As I was driving and taking in the beauty of the trees [SN: my favorite time to look at the trees is winter time because they can be seen for what they are "trees" not a trunk with leaves.]  I thought about how vulnerable the limbs and branches are without their leaves to cover them up, but how beautiful the tree is regardless. This made me think about how beautiful God thinks we are when we come to him empty and vulnerable.  God sees everything, but he doesn't just want to see it. God wants us to express it. He wants us to tell him and talk to him about every struggle and every issue that we have.

We are emotional beings. Our thoughts and feelings sometimes are driven by the flesh, but the wonderful thing is that God is so great that not only can he handle your feelings and emotions, but he can transform them into something beautiful. He understands that we are not always going to have warm fuzzy feelings. Because we are human, He automatically knows that we are going to question and doubt, simply because we don't have all of the answers. To Him, that is okay. Some of God's best friends in the bible doubted and questioned. Just to name a few: David, Job, Moses and Abraham.

As I continued to watched the bare naked trees fly by as I drove, mind you, I drive like a grandma, so they weren't going by too terribly fast, James 1:2 came to mind.  Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. Several services ago, my Pastor said, "with struggle comes growth". Without the struggles, we'd be weak and stagnant. As I looked back on my struggles from throughout the year I realized BECAUSE of those struggles, I am standing in sweet freedom and everlasting victory.  I am to "be strong and immovable." and full of faith.  [1 Corinthians 15:58]

Regardless of the circumstance, God has been there relentlessly working and waiting, providing and comforting, giving and apparent. One thing has stood true throughout 2016, "if I look for Him wholehearted, I find Him". (Jeremiah 29:13) I look at the struggles and think about how far I've come and how my relationship with God and others has flourished. For these things I am thankful.

God has transformed the old prideful Brittany Nicole Akridge, social worker who thought she had everything together into a Daughter of a Heavenly King, who is broken and vulnerable, but is loved. This girl that struggles and doesn't have it together is loved by the same person who created the ocean and the milky way. This new girl that is vulnerable and honest in her struggles is "fearfully and wonderfully made". (Psalm 139:14)

So 2016, I am thankful for you because through my struggles I have grown. God has shown me His unfailing and relentless love and grace through it all. I am blessed and thankful beyond measure.

Torn Muscles

As many of you all know, my mom has been diagnosed with brain cancer. Although this process has been one of the most challenging and difficult times I have had the opportunity [yes, I said opportunity] to experience. It has been an experience that I have been strengthened by. This has, also, provided me with the opportunity to speak about the graciousness and love of God. God never gives us more than we can handle, even if we feel like he does. God is always there to pick us up, dust us off and strengthen us. Throughout this, I have had to remind myself that EVEN STRUGGLES ARE A BLESSING and a part of our stories. (Romans 5:3-5) Without struggles and hardships in our lives we would never be given the opportunity to grow and be strengthened. God is not a stagnant or weak God, so if we are trying to be like Christ, why would we want to be stagnant and weak? Therefore, in order to be strengthened we must first break, just a little.  Metaphorically, we are similar to a muscle that someone is working on strengthening.  As someone lifts heavy weights, the muscle tears just a little, but grows back together even stronger.  After a trial has been endured, we are able to look back and see how much growth and strength we achieved during that hardship.

 

When I found out that my mom had a mass on her brain, I felt as though life had stopped. Life had thrown a curve ball that I wasn't ready for. That curve ball hit me exactly where it hurt...family. When first hearing the news, I was so scared, thinking and fearing the worst. If you know me well, you may know that severe anxiety and worrying is my weakness.  However, while mom was in Columbus, I clung to God's promises and Truth. It was during this time that God provided me with comfort, grace, mercy, an astounding peace and so much more. It's truly amazing how if you are fully sold out to God, how He can provide you with exactly what you need in a single instant.

     After days of waiting, not-so patiently in Columbus, a bed finally became available at UAB and my mom was transferred to Birmingham. Days passed and on July 6, 2016 around 3:00, my mom was taken back to the OR by nurses, so the brain tumor could be removed. Once my mom was taken back to surgery, all of my positivity and peace that I had felt in Columbus had transformed and became an overflow of negative emotions and anxiety.

In the middle of the waiting room was a beautiful outside prayer garden with windows all the way around and no rooftop.  During the first 30 minutes of the surgery, I secluded myself in that garden from my family. I wanted alone time to pray, to listen to music, and just focus. I was worried, nervous, anxious and angry.  Tears were streaming down my face as I cried [not just cried, but ugly cried, like I'm talking terrible facial expressions, snot and tissues....the whole nine yards]. As I cried and my music played through my ear buds, a song came on that instantly stopped every negative emotion and ever worrisome thought wrenching tear that I was crying. "O Praise the Name" by Hillsong was playing. The words "Why are you worried? God's got this!" rung violently inside of my head. I had never before experienced the presence of God, like I had in that moment [such peace, such understanding, such comfort, such ease, such grace, such love, all in a very instant]. Confirmation occurred when a gust of wind blew in garden and a lady that was outside walked up and said "Miss, I promise, it's going to be just fine."

After the surgery, the surgeon came out with his concerns about side-effects from the surgery, which included inability to see, lack of mobility/strength of the right side and an inability to speak/comprehend. When arriving to visit my mom in the ICU, I saw there would be a long road of recovery. However, the doctor's concerns were answered almost immediately.  In broken statements, mom was speaking to the nurses. In broken words and statements, mom was answering questions.  The greatest amount of confirmation regarding the surgeon's concerns occurred when my brother and I grabbed my mom's hands and she squeezed [so tightly it hurt a little] three times. [By the way, anything that is done 3 times in the Akridge house is code for "I Love You".]  

My heart overflowed with joy.

 

I would love to tell you all that mom is perfect and this has been an easy and quick transition/recovery, but that is not nearly the case. As if the side-effects from the surgery are not nearly enough, mom's medications have had serious side-effects, in which she was taken to the ER. Severe drowsiness that has caused an inability to walk, talk or comprehend occurred recently because of medications. Currently, dysphasia and trouble walking and getting around is present.

  

But regardless of those set-backs, side-effects and bad news, JESUS IS STILL ON THE THRONE. Mom is alive and has made much improvement this week. She is talking a bit more, motivated to practice walking, actually eating and drinking more than a couple of bites of food or sips of drink, comprehending questions and is able to keep her eyes open for extended period of time. She is strong and all glory goes to the King of Kings! God is WAY bigger than any cancer. God has blessed our family tremendously. Being able to experience the support and love from so many people has been heart-changing. People are literally being the hands and feet of Jesus, right before our eyes. All of the prayers, cards, gifts and life-giving words are encouraging and abundantly appreciated. Mom has a long road to recovery ahead of her, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that we serve a sweet, sweet Savior, who has and is going to do miraculous things.

 

 Pray for her as she continues to be strengthened and overcomes dysphasia. Pray for comfort and that radiation and chemotherapy will do exactly what is intended to do.



We are selling T-Shirts for $20 dollars to help the cost of Radiation and Chemotherapy.
Here is the link.

My tumor and my transformation

This post is an update and reference to one of my earlier posts called "Prayers, Positivity and Pituitary Adenomas".  If you haven't already read (which you TOTALLY should have) the earlier post, here is the link: Prayers, Positivity and Pituitary Adenomas

It has been a little over 6 months since I was diagnosed with a Pituitary Tumor.  It's not something that I usually discuss because the symptoms and side effects to the medication are somewhat personal.  However, there is freedom in telling others.  So, if you read my post, most of you know I saw a neurosurgeon back in October. I can recall my first encounter with Dr. Vaughn.  He is a very small man with a very dry, yet uniquely intriguing sense of humor, yet incredibly intelligent.  Instead of spouting off a bunch of mumbo jumbo doctor lingo, Dr. Vaughn, first, asked me what I knew about my condition.  I remember him drawing a brain on a piece of paper (an absolutely terrible drawing of the brain, but a brain nonetheless) and I distinctly remember him being engaged in my concerns and thoughts regarding the appointment.  After hearing me out and helping me to completely understand what was occurring within my body, he began by telling me "if you're going to have a tumor, this is the kind you want". Instant relief overcame me.  He told me that he was going to start me on some medication, which would have some side-effects, but to just take note and let him know if things were too severe. Surgery was, also, discussed during the appointment.  Blood work and a follow-up MRI would need to be completed in 6 months.

About a month after my appointment in Birmingham, I began to notice that my body was reacting to the medication, fairly well.  The first month after my appointment, the symptoms that Dr. Vaughn had described were present and severe, I stayed home from work for two days due to severe back pain, migraines, and mood changes/swings. I remember being at my apartment laying in bed and praying that not only the pain ease, but that the severity of the symptoms would diminish in weeks to come. God is faithful.  After a short period of time, the pain eased and in weeks to come the symptoms diminished. In March, I was scheduled to get follow-up blood work completed.  This was again to check my prolactin levels and to see if the levels had decreased any.  The nurses explained that I would hear something back, before I would have my 6 month appointment.  However, I did not hear anything back. I called UAB, but was never able to get in contact with anyone, so I assumed things were fine and that I would hear from them when I went in for my appointment. 

Today was my follow-up appointment and God is good. First of all, God is full of blessings. My very first MRI was done in Dothan, Alabama.  This entire process was frustrating and strenuous. After having the MRI, I had to drive back to Dothan to pick up the CD, which had my MRI scans on it, in the Records department, I had to personally deliver the CD to Birmingham because the Hospital in Dothan would not mail the MRI Results. I forgot to mention the tediousness of having to set up the MRI myself with not only the hospital, but through my health insurance provider, too. This time, God blessed me with an MRI appointment and an appointment to see my doctor on the same day in Birmingham, both at the Kirkland Clinic, back-to-back.  At each appointment they were able to get me in very quickly, but the best blessing I received was the news about the adenoma.  When Dr. Vaughn walked through the door with a smile on his face, he began to tell me how much progress I have made in such a short period of time.  The tumor that was once pressing on my optic nerve was no longer pressing on it. In fact, there was a gap between the optic nerve and the tumor.  Dr. Vaughn explained, "your tumor has shrunk in size and levels are way down. Your levels were 150, six months ago, and are now down to 40". He confirmed that I will not have to have brain surgery, in the future, and that there is a possibility that I will not have to be on the medication for the rest of my life.  He reported that there is a chance the tumor might eventually disappear altogether. His words were like music to my ears, but I couldn't help but be somewhat thankful for this opportunity to have this 15mm tumor on my pituitary glad that had caused me years of issues. 

I, firmly, believe that within the next two years of treatment that this tumor will be completely gone, not because of the medication, but because prayer works and God is faithful and loving to His children. In October, I remember spending several nights in a row crying because I thought this tumor would be life threatening and detrimental, but instead it turned into a life transforming moment that has been full of spiritual growth. I look around at so many other people struggling with things in life that are far greater than a benign tumor on their pituitary gland. I realize something like this doesn't even hold a candle to what others are going through because the ultimate healer has already fought this battle for me.  Throughout this time, God has shown Himself in more ways than I am even able to count. If this had not occurred, I don't believe that I would be able to see God's goodness in so many aspects of life and his miraculous ability to reveal himself in all situations and circumstances.

Recently, I had the pleasure of hearing Holly Wagner speak at church. One thing that really stuck out to me were her thoughts on life experiences. She discussed mountain top experiences, which are when things are going great in life and you seem to have things figured out. She also discussed valley experiences,  which consist of when you are in a low place in life and things are rocky and you are struggling. As she was explaining each of these experiences in life, she said "but only in the valley is were fruit grows" (Can I get a hallelujah? That is good, right there). Her analogy is great and specific. Fruit is beautiful, healthy and sweet, just as struggling experiences can be.  This experience has certainly not been a mountain top experience, but it is one that I can look back on and say I bare much more fruit because of. I look back and see God's goodness and the impact that this experience has had on me, which has provided me with spiritual growth, faithfulness, peace, and an indescribable joy.  I have felt God's presence and seen his faithfulness during this time more than I ever have. His presence is transforming and lovely and I would not want to change this time in my life for anything.

Comparison can be a slippery downhill slope.

Okay, so recently I have become quite aware of how comparison can make such an impact on one's life.  I had noticed that throughout my day, I compared and critiqued so much! Part of my job as a social worker is to compare and critique behaviors, but I started noticing that I not only compare my clients and things work related; I compared things in my life, too.  After observing my actions and being aware of my thoughts regarding comparison, I came to the realization that for me, comparison is something I struggle with. For me and many others, comparison is just plain unhealthy. 

Usually people compare themselves to others by wishing they looked more beautiful, slimmer or were as famous as someone.  If you know me, I'm sure you've heard me mention Ashley Graham. My interest in her is, at times, slightly ridiculous. I aspire to be very similar to her; fit, stunningly beautiful, a groundbreaking model. [crazy, right?] Not exactly, the devil and the media tend to work closely together when it comes to comparison. However, its a trap. Comparison traps you and makes you feel like you aren't quite measuring up.  If the truth be told....you're NOT. You are not measuring up because you are not called to be them....you are called to be YOU. You were not created by the Master of the universe to be like anyone other than yourself. You were specifically created by the King of Kings, so embrace it!  As my dear friend T-Ball would say, "if you're so busy trying to be someone else, then who is going to be you." I love this quote so much. If I spend all my time trying to do and be like someone else, who will do and be like Brittany Nicole Akridge? Measuring yourself based on someone else, especially only from outward appearance will get you nowhere in life.

Everyone has the person(s) they would like to resemble or look like, but it is important for us to remember we are who God made us. However, don't get it twisted. God calls us to take care of the body that he has provided for us. So if you are living an unhealthy lifestyle, obviously change needs to take place.  Change is difficult, but its great to see progression in yourself. By making  positive changes in yourself, you will be less likely to compare yourself to others and more likely to compare your old self to your new self, which is a little thing I like to call MOTIVATION. Ezekiel 16:13-14, discusses beauty. It tells us that beauty is made perfect by God's glory and that his character in you and His opinion of you is where true beauty lies.  When we are fully aware of how precious we are in the eyes of Jesus, we won't need to compare ourselves to others anymore. So accept yourself and listen to God's opinion of you.  

When comparing yourself now to yourself two and a half years ago, what do you notice? Are you more positive? Have you matured or grown? Are you healthier? If you focus on God and bettering yourself, comparing yourselves to others becomes less of a struggle. These past few years have been such an incredible journey. I am so very blessed with the feelings of joy and strength. Feelings that only a Savior can provide. God has allowed me to flourish. He has thrust upon me His unconditional love, His grace, His positivity and strength. He has encouraged me and been my Rock in times that I have felt terrible about myself and my body. Instead of comparing myself to others, I am comparing myself to God. I want to be so in love and much like Him that people see it wherever I go with all that I do. Comparison can take so much away from you, but by comparing yourself to the Most High, you gain so much. 

"Get Your Mind Right"

Well hello my lovely blog followers, I'm beginning with a quote from Highland's First Wednesday service by Craig Greoschel.

"There is far more within you than your mind understands."

WOW, right? This quote is so very diverse.  It's relatable spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally (actually my list could go on and on, but we will stop here so I can proceed).

First of all, let me explain that your mind and brain, although similar, are actually quite different. This has been an ongoing debate dating all the way back to the times of Aristotle. I, personally, think it's interesting to view them as different. Although the mind is related to the brain and the two are interchangeable, they are quite different. The brain is composed of nerve cells and blood vessels, along with a definite shape, the mind however, has none of this. Interestingly enough, the brain happens to be the center of your nervous system. It helps to coordinate movements, thoughts and feelings, but these are put forth and felt by the mind. Our minds are used to think, feel, and respond. It refers to one's understanding and conscience of things.

So with all of that being said, why am I blogging about the mind? Simply because in order to get to where you want to be, you need to be in the correct state of mind.  If you desire to lose weight or get healthy, you are not going to be able to do that if you don't think you can. When people find out how much weight I've lost they are amazed, but automatically say "I could never do that", "I wish I could do that", or my favorite "Oh, I could never give up bread or sugar". Amazingly enough, they're correct. If this is the mindset you have going into something (ANYTHING, really) then you will not be able to succeed. I consider that a lack of positive mindset in yourself. You aren't giving yourself enough credit. If you have a strong desire to change your lifestyle, then by working on it and a having a positive mindset, you will be able to do that. Let it be known that it will be difficult, but you are strong! You can do it!! If you think you can't, pray about it. God answer's prayers about health and fitness, too. Also, surround your self with people who will support you and lift you up. Surround yourself with people who will provide you with a positive mindset about your health.

If watching is the only thing you're going to do, then you're going to watch your life go right by. With so much going on around us, it is very easy for someone to allow worldly thoughts to control their lives. Being in control of what we take into our mind is exceedingly important. For example, I went through a period, where I compared myself to several famous women. I would think "OMGSH, why doesn't my body look like that?" or "Why can't my stomach look like that?" of if it wasn't my stomach it was "Why are my legs,arms, or my booty so thick?". By comparing and critiquing my body, my mind would take me other places, that it should not have gone. I was continuously comparing myself and my lifestyle to some of Hollywood's most beautiful women. I had to realize that I needed to change my mindset. My first step was to unfollow these women on social media. Afterwards, I prayed about it. I realized that I am me. I am exactly who God created me to be and my motivation is great. I had to face the fact that I would never be that 5'8" slender woman on Social Media, but I would be 6' curvy Brittany Nicole Akridge that God took time out to create. I just had to grasp that although God created me to have a different body type than others, he still wants me to take care of his creation that He is allowing me to use temporarily.

I understand that a lifestyle change is so very difficult. I understand that getting healthy can cause mixed emotions, but it is one of the greatest things I have done and I would not change it for the world, but I would have never been able to achieve this without, first, being able to get my mind right.

The depths of despair and fitness.

Well hello readers, it has most definitely been a while,

As many of you know, I  have moved and I am currently interning at the VA hospital in Tuskegee. This has been a trying, depressing and extremely difficult transition for me. I am quite the social butterfly and being social is just a part of who I am.  Moving, not knowing anyone, having to learn where everything is, starting something new, not really speaking or seeing those closest to me has been trying. I have felt sadness, anxiety, depression, anger, and overall what I imagine is the closest thing to the depths of despair (Anne of Green Gables reference). In the past few weeks, I have cried probably 5 times, which is an exceedingly high amount for me, due to the fact that I am NOT a crier. I joined a gym, joined some groups and have tried attending several different churches in hopes of meeting new people and better being able to enjoy my experience here. Not until this week did I realize that I am wasting my life being sad and TRYING to do things my way. 

Since I've been here, I've met a few people and did some sociable things, but nothing really clicked. I would go to the gym and work out my frustrations, but I consistently left feeling sad. I've attended different churches and groups in hopes of finding joy, but each time I left feeling empty. Until this week, when I officially heard what God has been wanting me to hear and know all the time. He wants me to know that as much as I love people He loves me. God doesn't ONLY want me to be physically fit, he wants me to be SPIRITUALLY fit, too. I've been praying about my current situation and all I had gotten were the words "patience" and "content". I had no idea what "content" was referring to until this week.  God wants me to be content with my life (with just He and I). So often we plan things out and have a preconceived idea of how things should be. Because I had an idea of how I  think things SHOULD be, I end up with anxiety and sadness. If, in fact, I would just be more trusting of God, sadness and anxiety would've been much less.

With that being said, I am beginning to work on being more spiritually fit. Being spiritually fit means clinging to Jesus in both good and bad time. He is our Rock, Redeemer, Strong Tower and the One who will holds us together. He is The One who will provide me with WHO I need exactly WHEN I need them. I realized that I may be the only Bible someone ever reads, and how I was currently living and the character I was currently showing was certainly not showing a healthy spiritual fitness. When people are broken, Light should shine more abundantly through them, but light wasn't showing through me.

After leaving church and the gym this week, I have felt complete. I have felt strong and fit and I praise God for that. I am currently content and waiting on the Lord to bring the RIGHT people into my life. And in fact, I had dinner last night with a friend and have plans throughout the weekend with several different people. So I must say....God is good.

"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come"  -1 Timothy 4:8